Seth Godin has a cool blog about marketing and other business stuff. I like his direct writing style and he definitely has a "value add" focus in his topics. You walk away from each blog post with useful information that can usually be applied readily.
Seth's topic today was PR vs. Publicity. He makes a good point: PR is about crafting your story and it is composed of all data points that get associated with your business. It's about how you do business, the way you do business, why you do business, etc. Publicity, as he describes it, is "getting ink".
My experience is similar to Seth's: most people think a ton about getting ink and disregard the importance of a good story. And it is cool having a story written about your business. But I adamantly do not agree with the misconception out there that any press is good press. You want GOOD press - and accurate press. People care about integrity and authenticity. Now - when dollars are being spent even more carefully than in previous times - it's the stories that matter (much to Seth Godin's point). People really care that you sew your decorative pillows by hand in your basement. They want to hire an insurance agent who makes house calls to house-bound clients to gather policy information. Money is emotionally charged in new ways - and people look to feel better when they spend. It feels good to spend money on a product or service with someone who is clearly and powerfully living their passion.
Write out your story - the part about why you do what you do. Share the history in your bio or About page on your website. Let them feel your passion for your work when they hear you talk about it or when they contact you to buy your product or service.
And if you can't find that passion and tell a meaningful story, reconsider your work. Or, dig deeper. You really gotta have it.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Ahh, There You Are
I went to a talk a few weeks ago where the speaker, Robert Killen, was telling us how to craft High Impact Presentations. He gave us a number of interesting tips such as telling "power stories" and genuinely seeking to understand what your audience wants before you speak so that you are sure to be of service to them. My favorite takeaway, though, was his reminder of this quote:
There are those who walk into a room and say, "Here I am!" and there are those who walk into a room and say, "Ahh, there you are!"
It is such a fabulous feeling when someone walks into a room with the energy of the latter. It reminds me of my sister Tina who, every time I call, sounds as though she is absolutely thrilled that it is me on the other end of the line. I'm pretty sure everyone else feels this way when they call her... but who cares. I feel fabulous and loved each time she answers the phone.
I have a renewed commitment to nonverbally say, "Ahhh, there you are!" upon every arrival here on out.
There are those who walk into a room and say, "Here I am!" and there are those who walk into a room and say, "Ahh, there you are!"
It is such a fabulous feeling when someone walks into a room with the energy of the latter. It reminds me of my sister Tina who, every time I call, sounds as though she is absolutely thrilled that it is me on the other end of the line. I'm pretty sure everyone else feels this way when they call her... but who cares. I feel fabulous and loved each time she answers the phone.
I have a renewed commitment to nonverbally say, "Ahhh, there you are!" upon every arrival here on out.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Even More Pressure on Mom
I'm often struck by the intensity of the responsibility I feel as a mother. Every decision I make feels like one that has the potential to shift the very trajectory of my kids' lives. When it gets really intense, I remind myself that I am a huge believer in biology (maybe 70 % biology, 30 % nurture - or something like that) and the pressure weakens. Momentarily. Then I am reminded that our biology is altered every day by our environment in so many ways.
Seems shared responsibility for my kids' brain development goes all the way back to my adolescent days (which weren't all organic fruits and writing book reports) - and gets laid on my mom (in my case, my moms, since I have two) and dad and the kind of environment they provided for me. This article says that my environment in childhood may have had effects on my brain that have directly influenced the brains of my own babies, at least if you think mice brains translate to human brains. There goes that whole experimentation stage I kept writing off as just adolescent "exploration".
Seems shared responsibility for my kids' brain development goes all the way back to my adolescent days (which weren't all organic fruits and writing book reports) - and gets laid on my mom (in my case, my moms, since I have two) and dad and the kind of environment they provided for me. This article says that my environment in childhood may have had effects on my brain that have directly influenced the brains of my own babies, at least if you think mice brains translate to human brains. There goes that whole experimentation stage I kept writing off as just adolescent "exploration".
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Outsourcing Domestic Help at Home
The thing about having a communication blog is that, really, everything communicates. Everything you say, of course, but also what you wear, how you spend your time and money, the friends you have... it all says something about you, intended or not. Even accurate or not, it communicates.
So, that's why I feel justified in talking about how to handle domestic chores on this blog. I am a huge fan of outsourcing. Really, I believe in outsourcing virtually anything that is not either one of your personal strengths, something you genuinely want to improve upon for your own internal reasons, or something you hold dear to your heart and soul and therefore do not want to hand over to another person to handle. Often, the three go together so keeping particular things "in-house" is a no-brainer. For example, my friend Lydia absolutely adores gardening. She is good at gardening, she wants to be a better gardener all the time, and she holds gardening dear to her heart. So, Lydia should garden!
I, on the other hand, am lucky if my thumb gets even the slightest tint of greenish yellow in Spring and, when I am honest with myself, I really don't prefer to garden. It can be fun to pick out plants and flowers and even a bit satisfying to stick them in the ground and have an instant remodel of my front flower mound. But really, I'd be equally happy (okay, maybe even more happy) to have our earth-loving, a-bit-too-laid-back, talented landscape designer/gardener work his magic in our garden and then adore his mastery when we have dinner picnics on the front lawn.
Still, sometimes I feel guilty about this position I so passionately hold. It's as though I have some old programming that says that my very womanhood depends on my ability to handle all of the zillion domestic duties involved in caring for a household. That makes sense since my mom really was a brilliant homemaker. Our house was drop-by-visitor ready anytime, she made dinner most nights, she showered every day(!!) and she was always ready to go out with my dad when he got home from work and wanted to see a movie or go get dinner on a whim. When I get particularly insecure about my total disregard for domestic prowess, I like to seek out others who share my position. It's validating. That's why I was pleased to find this article in the Wall Street Journal and then run across this wish-I-could-say-things-this-beautifully blog post a few weeks ago on my friend Melissa's blog.
We have a wonderful woman deep clean for us once a month and we have a brilliant, fun, totally fabulous person come in for two hours three days a week and do whatever makes life easier that day. Some days she just picks up the total crazy mess we've left in every room. She has installed a closet organizer system, reorganized our kitchen cabinets and cleaned out our garage. She has made dinner and played countless games with our girls while she did various things around the house. She is a huge, meaningful part of our lives and I could not be more grateful for the help. It would take a pretty dramatic change in our financial situation (which is not extravagant, by any means) to let go of this amazing gift in our lives.
I'm not sure what this communicates about me - or anyone else who does it any other way. I just want to offer it up to anyone who can swing it. Life is so much better with help. Feelin' the love tonight (and the thrill that tomorrow is Monday and Olivia will be here!), I guess.
So, that's why I feel justified in talking about how to handle domestic chores on this blog. I am a huge fan of outsourcing. Really, I believe in outsourcing virtually anything that is not either one of your personal strengths, something you genuinely want to improve upon for your own internal reasons, or something you hold dear to your heart and soul and therefore do not want to hand over to another person to handle. Often, the three go together so keeping particular things "in-house" is a no-brainer. For example, my friend Lydia absolutely adores gardening. She is good at gardening, she wants to be a better gardener all the time, and she holds gardening dear to her heart. So, Lydia should garden!
I, on the other hand, am lucky if my thumb gets even the slightest tint of greenish yellow in Spring and, when I am honest with myself, I really don't prefer to garden. It can be fun to pick out plants and flowers and even a bit satisfying to stick them in the ground and have an instant remodel of my front flower mound. But really, I'd be equally happy (okay, maybe even more happy) to have our earth-loving, a-bit-too-laid-back, talented landscape designer/gardener work his magic in our garden and then adore his mastery when we have dinner picnics on the front lawn.
Still, sometimes I feel guilty about this position I so passionately hold. It's as though I have some old programming that says that my very womanhood depends on my ability to handle all of the zillion domestic duties involved in caring for a household. That makes sense since my mom really was a brilliant homemaker. Our house was drop-by-visitor ready anytime, she made dinner most nights, she showered every day(!!) and she was always ready to go out with my dad when he got home from work and wanted to see a movie or go get dinner on a whim. When I get particularly insecure about my total disregard for domestic prowess, I like to seek out others who share my position. It's validating. That's why I was pleased to find this article in the Wall Street Journal and then run across this wish-I-could-say-things-this-beautifully blog post a few weeks ago on my friend Melissa's blog.
We have a wonderful woman deep clean for us once a month and we have a brilliant, fun, totally fabulous person come in for two hours three days a week and do whatever makes life easier that day. Some days she just picks up the total crazy mess we've left in every room. She has installed a closet organizer system, reorganized our kitchen cabinets and cleaned out our garage. She has made dinner and played countless games with our girls while she did various things around the house. She is a huge, meaningful part of our lives and I could not be more grateful for the help. It would take a pretty dramatic change in our financial situation (which is not extravagant, by any means) to let go of this amazing gift in our lives.
I'm not sure what this communicates about me - or anyone else who does it any other way. I just want to offer it up to anyone who can swing it. Life is so much better with help. Feelin' the love tonight (and the thrill that tomorrow is Monday and Olivia will be here!), I guess.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
2009 Theme: The Year of Sleep
So, I'm exhausted. My kids have all been sick for the last week - really sick, fevers, throwing up (sorry, just setting the scene), whining, "carry me", "I don't feel well" every couple of minutes, closed drapes and too much TV kind of sick. Poor little sweet babies; I wish I could take it all away for them. I would SO be sick on their behalf anyday.
But, I was writing about my New Year's theme here. So, let me tie all this in. I am exhausted all the time. I don't sleep enough. I simply don't want to give up evening and late night hours to sleep when it is such fabulous time to talk with my husband, work on projects, catch up on work, and occasionally sit on the couch and watch TV. Ever since we had babies, I have done this - stayed up later and later to stretch out the time I have to do things outside of mothering. And it's been fine, mostly. I would get 6ish hours of sleep, have a good amount of coffee in the morning and all would be dandy.
Until... sometime recently. I don't even know when. But I either hit the critical point of sleep deprivation - or I suddenly hit the critical point of aging where my body couldn't just push through the sleep thing anymore. Whatever the cause, my lack of sleep started to really show up in my life. I was edgier. I got irritated at the girls unnecessarily. I was short with Jim when it was totally undeserved. The strangest part for me was that I FELT tired so often. I really hadn't felt tired much in my life, except right before I'd go to bed. I began feeling tired even in the morning, which is my super productive, take-on-the-world time.
I decided to test out going to bed earlier to see what impact it would have. I realize this may seem totally ridiculous to those of you out there who already held sleep in its appropriate high-value place in your life, but for me the difference was astonishing! Even just a few nights in a row of solid 7.5 to 8ish hours of sleep made such a huge difference in my outlook, attitude, the way I ate, and, in particular, in my interactions with my family, clients, friends, everyone... which is why I decided to write about it here. Sleep is so very relevant to communication! Now, slap me with the obvious hammer.
I am so enlightened that I have decided that my theme for 2009 is sleep. The goal is 7.5 hours on average a night (averaged weekly.) I am very excited to experience life with a totally full sleep tank. The problem is, I'm going to bed too late right now... hope I can figure out a way to sleep in tomorrow. Otherwise, I have to go to bed at 8pm tomorrow night to make up the sleep hours.
How much do you sleep a night? What is your ideal amount?
But, I was writing about my New Year's theme here. So, let me tie all this in. I am exhausted all the time. I don't sleep enough. I simply don't want to give up evening and late night hours to sleep when it is such fabulous time to talk with my husband, work on projects, catch up on work, and occasionally sit on the couch and watch TV. Ever since we had babies, I have done this - stayed up later and later to stretch out the time I have to do things outside of mothering. And it's been fine, mostly. I would get 6ish hours of sleep, have a good amount of coffee in the morning and all would be dandy.
Until... sometime recently. I don't even know when. But I either hit the critical point of sleep deprivation - or I suddenly hit the critical point of aging where my body couldn't just push through the sleep thing anymore. Whatever the cause, my lack of sleep started to really show up in my life. I was edgier. I got irritated at the girls unnecessarily. I was short with Jim when it was totally undeserved. The strangest part for me was that I FELT tired so often. I really hadn't felt tired much in my life, except right before I'd go to bed. I began feeling tired even in the morning, which is my super productive, take-on-the-world time.
I decided to test out going to bed earlier to see what impact it would have. I realize this may seem totally ridiculous to those of you out there who already held sleep in its appropriate high-value place in your life, but for me the difference was astonishing! Even just a few nights in a row of solid 7.5 to 8ish hours of sleep made such a huge difference in my outlook, attitude, the way I ate, and, in particular, in my interactions with my family, clients, friends, everyone... which is why I decided to write about it here. Sleep is so very relevant to communication! Now, slap me with the obvious hammer.
I am so enlightened that I have decided that my theme for 2009 is sleep. The goal is 7.5 hours on average a night (averaged weekly.) I am very excited to experience life with a totally full sleep tank. The problem is, I'm going to bed too late right now... hope I can figure out a way to sleep in tomorrow. Otherwise, I have to go to bed at 8pm tomorrow night to make up the sleep hours.
How much do you sleep a night? What is your ideal amount?
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Information Fasting
The December issue of True North Parenting is out. This time I wrote an article on Information Fasting. Check it out, if you’re inspired.
I need to revisit it myself. A bit info overloaded again lately… it comes on so unconsciously, you don't even know it's happening.
Funny story: I’m sitting with an associate in my entrepreneur’s group two days ago, waiting for others to arrive to start our meeting. She has the True North Parenting magazine in front of her, having just closed it when I sat down. We started chatting and somehow got onto the topic of focus. She says, “This woman in this magazine just wrote a whole article about how she put away all her books and gave away her magazines and just made herself stop taking in new information for a while. I totally need to try that.” I was smiling, waiting for her to laugh and acknowledge that it was my article, but she didn’t. I said, “You know that was me who wrote that, right?” (perplexed that she hadn’t admitted to the joke yet.) She was totally shocked! She was just sharing the ideas in the article with me, like a good idea resource. It was very cool. I felt like that scene is When Harry Met Sally when Jess says to Marie during that dinner where they are supposed to actually be hooking up with Sally and Harry, instead of each other, “Oh my Gohd, I have never had anyone quote me to me before!”
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Networking Fumble. Party Pitch Planned.
Sometimes I go to the Bend Chamber of Commerce events. I was reluctant at first, expecting a stiffly formal, hyper-networky experience. While networking is clearly the goal, and no one is ashamed to admit it, I've found them to be an overall nice experience. It's actually refreshing to be somewhere where the networking aspect is just way out in the open. "Selling yourself" is invited, and everyone is clearly looking for ways to both make new business connections for themselves and to facilitation business connections for one another. I love it when everyone is just up front about what they're up to.
A recent Friday morning I went to an Entrepreneurial Council meeting put on by the chamber. These are educational meetings, with a speaker who shares business tips, insights, strategies with the group. After a few minutes of planned networking, the formal business of the meeting began. The council chair did a few announcements and then, to my surprise, he said he thought we had a small enough group to go around the room and introduce ourselves and our business. There were at least 40 of us! Only my second meeting, I had no idea this would happen. The first meeting I attended had more like 60 people and we did not introduce ourselves.
Now, ordinarily this is a good opportunity. Here's this audience of 40 people waiting to hear about my business. Given the nature of my business, this is my target audience, no less. You can't pay for this kind of targeted exposure! Why am I not thrilled?
I am totally unprepared. And when you are a "communication coach and consultant", you, um, really should be prepared to say what you do. And when your business name is Eloquence Communication, ideally you can say what you do, um, eloquently.
I know what I do, of course. I even have a "pitch" I can say. However, I realized sitting in this room that the pitch I have isn't the right one for two reasons. First of all, it is mostly designed for small business owners and entrepreneurs - this room is full of these AND people from larger organizations. Second, my pitch does not include a specific description of the benefits of working with me. Crazy! While I work regularly with people on these very things, I have not taken the time to rethink my own "elevator speech". Fine time to realize this!
So, I fumbled through a less-than-eloquent description of what I do, counting on the big smile and facade of confidence that are necessary in these types of situations. No one looked phased (great business people never do) but no one rushed up to me to discuss my services either. And now I am working very actively on what I prefer to call my "party pitch language" so that I am never in this missed-opportunity situation again. I'll keep you posted.
A recent Friday morning I went to an Entrepreneurial Council meeting put on by the chamber. These are educational meetings, with a speaker who shares business tips, insights, strategies with the group. After a few minutes of planned networking, the formal business of the meeting began. The council chair did a few announcements and then, to my surprise, he said he thought we had a small enough group to go around the room and introduce ourselves and our business. There were at least 40 of us! Only my second meeting, I had no idea this would happen. The first meeting I attended had more like 60 people and we did not introduce ourselves.
Now, ordinarily this is a good opportunity. Here's this audience of 40 people waiting to hear about my business. Given the nature of my business, this is my target audience, no less. You can't pay for this kind of targeted exposure! Why am I not thrilled?
I am totally unprepared. And when you are a "communication coach and consultant", you, um, really should be prepared to say what you do. And when your business name is Eloquence Communication, ideally you can say what you do, um, eloquently.
I know what I do, of course. I even have a "pitch" I can say. However, I realized sitting in this room that the pitch I have isn't the right one for two reasons. First of all, it is mostly designed for small business owners and entrepreneurs - this room is full of these AND people from larger organizations. Second, my pitch does not include a specific description of the benefits of working with me. Crazy! While I work regularly with people on these very things, I have not taken the time to rethink my own "elevator speech". Fine time to realize this!
So, I fumbled through a less-than-eloquent description of what I do, counting on the big smile and facade of confidence that are necessary in these types of situations. No one looked phased (great business people never do) but no one rushed up to me to discuss my services either. And now I am working very actively on what I prefer to call my "party pitch language" so that I am never in this missed-opportunity situation again. I'll keep you posted.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Keeping Your Word is a Big Deal
I have a new client who is right in the midst of a huge level leap in her business. She needs a ton of help with a zillion things. Since I happen to know people who do three of those things she needs help on, I told her I'd send along referrals. I have worked with two of the sources I recommended, so I can refer them with confidence. The third is someone I met recently, was impressed by our first interaction, and decided to make a referral based on our meeting.
Making referrals feels really good, doesn't it? I love it. I love that I am helping the person to whom I am making the referral. It's hard to decide who to go to for help, if you don't know anyone first hand. And I love that I am almost literally handing over business to someone. We all know that referred business is so much hotter than business that comes virtually any other way.
So, explain this to me. I called the guy I didn't know well to tell him about my client, then I followed up with an email. He responded a day and a half later. If it were me getting that referral, I would have responded faster, for sure, but that's not that long, so not a big deal. But in his email response, he said he'd call me that afternoon. He didn't call me that afternoon, nor did he call me the next day. On the third day, I emailed him and said if he was interested in my client he needed to get in touch asap because my client wanted to have a meeting the next Monday (it was Friday.) He did respond then by email and followed up with a phone call. At this point, though, I'm curious if he is really all that interested in this new business. I am nervous that he won't respond fast enough to my client when she calls and that it will reflect on me because I referred him. I don't want my client to become annoyed at me because I brought this flaky guy into her life.
I addressed the situation with the guy when he called. It was awkward. I had the impression he thought I was being unreasonable. That he would argue, if we knew each other better or he wasn't trying to preserve the possibility of me passing along more business, that he really hadn't taken that long to respond to me. Even his apology sent this message, "I'm sorry if you felt like I didn't respond as quickly as you expected."
People have different time frames and urgency in business. He may not need business that badly - or possibly he doesn't want to set unreasonable expectations for response time in the future. All his prerogative, of course. None of that is the point (though the ramifications of this type of "client training" are a good topic for another post). The point is, you should do what you say you will do. If you say you'll call, call. If you forget to call, call as soon as you remember and apologize for not honoring your commitment (and don't let this happen very often - get a better task-tracking system and/or hire an assistant if you need to.) If you can't meet a deadline, tell the person you are very sorry you won't be able to honor your commitment and give them a new, realistic date - and meet that commitment no matter what.
Actually, do this with everyone in your life. Because you never know who is a source of business referral... but most importantly, because your actions communicate your character, and you want to feel great about who you are for yourself and for the people who matter in your life.
Making referrals feels really good, doesn't it? I love it. I love that I am helping the person to whom I am making the referral. It's hard to decide who to go to for help, if you don't know anyone first hand. And I love that I am almost literally handing over business to someone. We all know that referred business is so much hotter than business that comes virtually any other way.
So, explain this to me. I called the guy I didn't know well to tell him about my client, then I followed up with an email. He responded a day and a half later. If it were me getting that referral, I would have responded faster, for sure, but that's not that long, so not a big deal. But in his email response, he said he'd call me that afternoon. He didn't call me that afternoon, nor did he call me the next day. On the third day, I emailed him and said if he was interested in my client he needed to get in touch asap because my client wanted to have a meeting the next Monday (it was Friday.) He did respond then by email and followed up with a phone call. At this point, though, I'm curious if he is really all that interested in this new business. I am nervous that he won't respond fast enough to my client when she calls and that it will reflect on me because I referred him. I don't want my client to become annoyed at me because I brought this flaky guy into her life.
I addressed the situation with the guy when he called. It was awkward. I had the impression he thought I was being unreasonable. That he would argue, if we knew each other better or he wasn't trying to preserve the possibility of me passing along more business, that he really hadn't taken that long to respond to me. Even his apology sent this message, "I'm sorry if you felt like I didn't respond as quickly as you expected."
People have different time frames and urgency in business. He may not need business that badly - or possibly he doesn't want to set unreasonable expectations for response time in the future. All his prerogative, of course. None of that is the point (though the ramifications of this type of "client training" are a good topic for another post). The point is, you should do what you say you will do. If you say you'll call, call. If you forget to call, call as soon as you remember and apologize for not honoring your commitment (and don't let this happen very often - get a better task-tracking system and/or hire an assistant if you need to.) If you can't meet a deadline, tell the person you are very sorry you won't be able to honor your commitment and give them a new, realistic date - and meet that commitment no matter what.
Actually, do this with everyone in your life. Because you never know who is a source of business referral... but most importantly, because your actions communicate your character, and you want to feel great about who you are for yourself and for the people who matter in your life.
Friday, November 14, 2008
The Little Things
When I hung up the phone after leaving a message on someone's voice mail today, my husband (who I didn't know was listening) said to me, "You want to know something I really like that you do?" Intrigued, and more than a little bit excited by the mysterious and unexpected feedback, I said, "Yea, I do!"
"Whenever you get off the phone, even if you are just leaving a message, you say 'GOODbye'. You never say 'bye' or 'bye bye', you always say the whole word, 'GOODbye' (emphasis and upswing on the first half of the word).
I felt really good, hearing that from him. I loved it that the feedback was positive, of course, but it was even more than that. It was such a little thing to notice, the way I say goodbye on the phone. I think that's what I loved most about it. I felt so... well, noticed. At the risk of being dramatic, I'd even say I felt known, like he gets me. Because I care about the way I communicate so much and that he was paying attention to this thing that matters so much to me was really validating.
This made me think about how this applies to so many scenarios - noticing the little things. From mentioning that you read your client's latest blog post to showing your audience in a presentation that you identify with them by sharing a personal story that reflects their own experiences. When my husband noticed the way I say goodbye on the phone, I felt really good and connected to him. That's the way we want to feel with other human beings - in marriage, of course, but really in all parts of life.
What little thing can you notice and share today so that one person feels the connection between the two of you more powerfully?
"Whenever you get off the phone, even if you are just leaving a message, you say 'GOODbye'. You never say 'bye' or 'bye bye', you always say the whole word, 'GOODbye' (emphasis and upswing on the first half of the word).
I felt really good, hearing that from him. I loved it that the feedback was positive, of course, but it was even more than that. It was such a little thing to notice, the way I say goodbye on the phone. I think that's what I loved most about it. I felt so... well, noticed. At the risk of being dramatic, I'd even say I felt known, like he gets me. Because I care about the way I communicate so much and that he was paying attention to this thing that matters so much to me was really validating.
This made me think about how this applies to so many scenarios - noticing the little things. From mentioning that you read your client's latest blog post to showing your audience in a presentation that you identify with them by sharing a personal story that reflects their own experiences. When my husband noticed the way I say goodbye on the phone, I felt really good and connected to him. That's the way we want to feel with other human beings - in marriage, of course, but really in all parts of life.
What little thing can you notice and share today so that one person feels the connection between the two of you more powerfully?
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Style Statement by Carrie McCarthy & Danielle LaPort
In my last post on Branding Clarity, I said I would share some of the tools we use to help our clients get very clear on who they are, what they must say, and how to express themselves most powerfully. So, I'll tell you about one of the coolest finds ever for clarifying your personal style and your business style - Style Statement: Live by Your Own Design by Carrie McCarthy & Danielle LaPort.
I saw Style Statement: Live by Your Own Design on one of those bump-your-hip tables in the center aisle at Barnes and Noble on a date night with my husband. The cover is lovely and the name intriguing, so I added it to my ridiculous pile of books to look through while I drink my non-fat, half-caf, two pump, extra hot white mocha (yea, I'm one of those coffee orderers). I had just enough time to flip through the Style Statement book by the time we had to head home and relieve our babysitter. The book is filled with photos of beautiful things. There are stories about real people and how they define themselves with two simple words and change their lives as a result. I was intrigued enough, in my quick flip-through, to order the book online the next day.
Since then, I've been increasingly astonished at the value of the concepts I learned in this book. First off, I didn't love the layout of the book. It was confusing for me. I chalk that up to a low tolerance for high art. I don't understand many things that others consider brilliant artistically. I also didn't do the exercises just the way they suggest them. I found it cumbersome. That could be because I have spent a lifetime contemplating my proverbial naval so a number of the questions seemed obvious to me and felt like I'd be getting off-track. Anyway, all that said - I am deeply grateful to Carrie & Danielle (they have formed a company with this name - Carrie and Danielle - through which they do Style Statement consultations) for the ideas they have given me in my work. I use a process that has many similar elements to the questions and suggestions that Carrie & Danielle make in their Style Statement book in my Branding Clarity sessions with clients. And, while I have a number of other question streams and explorations that I mix in, we do land on a two-word phrase much like the ones in Style Statement to drive branding in my client's business that is based on "foundation words" and "creative edge" words from the Style Statement book. Check out the book to learn more about those. It's too technical to explain each term for a blog post. If you're intrigued, you'll want the book. So get it.
The most important thing is that your phrase (just as for a Style Statement) feels accurate and uplifting. It should inspire you to work better, brighter, more powerfully. If it doesn't, it's not the right phrase. Try again.
So, what do we do with this phrase in Branding Clarity? We use it as a reference. We look at all expressions of your business: marketing materials, internal documents, presentations, logo and colors, language and word choices, key phrases... and ask whether they match this fundamental, distilled description of the client's brand (personality...style...)
Here's an example. Allison Hull, owner and designer at Lemon Halo in Bend, Oregon, went through the Branding Clarity process with me and we landed on Bold Fanciful as her branding phrase. It's not easy, landing on the right phrase, but when you do land on it, you know pretty quickly. It feels right. It makes perfect sense. You think to yourself, "Of course!", while an underlying feeling of giddiness lingers in your belly. Especially after a few days of sitting with the phrase, it simply either works or it doesn't. Bold Fanciful works for Allison. She felt revived, energized, pumped up to take her business to the next level once she claimed her phrase. Images came to mind, and colors and ideas. So inspired, she called her graphic designer and had a new logo and all new marketing materials created and began the process of redesigning her website! It's been at least two months and if you ask Allison today about the Branding Clarity process and the value of her branding phrase and she'll light up and tell you it rocked her whole business!
I saw Style Statement: Live by Your Own Design on one of those bump-your-hip tables in the center aisle at Barnes and Noble on a date night with my husband. The cover is lovely and the name intriguing, so I added it to my ridiculous pile of books to look through while I drink my non-fat, half-caf, two pump, extra hot white mocha (yea, I'm one of those coffee orderers). I had just enough time to flip through the Style Statement book by the time we had to head home and relieve our babysitter. The book is filled with photos of beautiful things. There are stories about real people and how they define themselves with two simple words and change their lives as a result. I was intrigued enough, in my quick flip-through, to order the book online the next day.
Since then, I've been increasingly astonished at the value of the concepts I learned in this book. First off, I didn't love the layout of the book. It was confusing for me. I chalk that up to a low tolerance for high art. I don't understand many things that others consider brilliant artistically. I also didn't do the exercises just the way they suggest them. I found it cumbersome. That could be because I have spent a lifetime contemplating my proverbial naval so a number of the questions seemed obvious to me and felt like I'd be getting off-track. Anyway, all that said - I am deeply grateful to Carrie & Danielle (they have formed a company with this name - Carrie and Danielle - through which they do Style Statement consultations) for the ideas they have given me in my work. I use a process that has many similar elements to the questions and suggestions that Carrie & Danielle make in their Style Statement book in my Branding Clarity sessions with clients. And, while I have a number of other question streams and explorations that I mix in, we do land on a two-word phrase much like the ones in Style Statement to drive branding in my client's business that is based on "foundation words" and "creative edge" words from the Style Statement book. Check out the book to learn more about those. It's too technical to explain each term for a blog post. If you're intrigued, you'll want the book. So get it.
The most important thing is that your phrase (just as for a Style Statement) feels accurate and uplifting. It should inspire you to work better, brighter, more powerfully. If it doesn't, it's not the right phrase. Try again.
So, what do we do with this phrase in Branding Clarity? We use it as a reference. We look at all expressions of your business: marketing materials, internal documents, presentations, logo and colors, language and word choices, key phrases... and ask whether they match this fundamental, distilled description of the client's brand (personality...style...)
Here's an example. Allison Hull, owner and designer at Lemon Halo in Bend, Oregon, went through the Branding Clarity process with me and we landed on Bold Fanciful as her branding phrase. It's not easy, landing on the right phrase, but when you do land on it, you know pretty quickly. It feels right. It makes perfect sense. You think to yourself, "Of course!", while an underlying feeling of giddiness lingers in your belly. Especially after a few days of sitting with the phrase, it simply either works or it doesn't. Bold Fanciful works for Allison. She felt revived, energized, pumped up to take her business to the next level once she claimed her phrase. Images came to mind, and colors and ideas. So inspired, she called her graphic designer and had a new logo and all new marketing materials created and began the process of redesigning her website! It's been at least two months and if you ask Allison today about the Branding Clarity process and the value of her branding phrase and she'll light up and tell you it rocked her whole business!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Branding Clarity, in general
Quick - what is your brilliance? What makes you irresistable and memorable to people?
Are you funny and earthy? Are you intense and artistic? Are you loving and adventurous? Are you terse and distant?
And your business? How is your business experienced by clients, potential clients, vendors, and friends? Is it fun to work with you? Is it easy? Do people feel safe and grounded? Do they feel stretched and satiated by their experience with you? Does interaction with your business add zest and flair to their life or does it bring peace of mind and a sense of comfort?
Your brand is the personality of your business. It is not your product. It is not your logo. It is not your marketing program. All of these things should be full of or drive your brand, but your brand is a separate thing in itself.
It really is just like personality in a person. If you are happy-go-lucky in personality, it is likely that you choose to do things that are fun and playful (at least part of the time), you live a lifestyle that has a happy-go-lucky quality and you probably even dress in ways that reflect this personality characteristic.
Similarly, if you are serious and introverted in personality, there's a good chance that you do things that engage that serious part of you more often (reading, maybe... research, contemplation... you get the idea). You likely dress and speak in ways that are consistent with this personality trait. Your personality is consistent with your style overall.
People get to know you, respond to you and remember you based on these qualities.
The same things happens with your business. This is your brand; the personality of your business. People remember your brand when they remember your business.
So, be intentional about your branding. Be sure that you articulate your brand and make your business decisions with the conscious goal of reflecting that brand.
This is easy to say, as are most things theoretical. The application is the hard part. Articulating your brand is no trivial matter and most of us struggle to first identify the current characteristics of our brand then name them. Then it gets even more complex as we look at those characteristics and decide if they make up the personality we want associated with our business.
Alas - there are ways to get there, however! A guided, deep inquiry with specific tools designed to draw out a succinct description of your business' personality can give you a reference point to use when deciding on logos, colors, language, and even product ideas.
In the next few weeks, we'll talk more about some of these tools for branding clarity. Stay tuned.
Are you funny and earthy? Are you intense and artistic? Are you loving and adventurous? Are you terse and distant?
And your business? How is your business experienced by clients, potential clients, vendors, and friends? Is it fun to work with you? Is it easy? Do people feel safe and grounded? Do they feel stretched and satiated by their experience with you? Does interaction with your business add zest and flair to their life or does it bring peace of mind and a sense of comfort?
Your brand is the personality of your business. It is not your product. It is not your logo. It is not your marketing program. All of these things should be full of or drive your brand, but your brand is a separate thing in itself.
It really is just like personality in a person. If you are happy-go-lucky in personality, it is likely that you choose to do things that are fun and playful (at least part of the time), you live a lifestyle that has a happy-go-lucky quality and you probably even dress in ways that reflect this personality characteristic.
Similarly, if you are serious and introverted in personality, there's a good chance that you do things that engage that serious part of you more often (reading, maybe... research, contemplation... you get the idea). You likely dress and speak in ways that are consistent with this personality trait. Your personality is consistent with your style overall.
People get to know you, respond to you and remember you based on these qualities.
The same things happens with your business. This is your brand; the personality of your business. People remember your brand when they remember your business.
So, be intentional about your branding. Be sure that you articulate your brand and make your business decisions with the conscious goal of reflecting that brand.
This is easy to say, as are most things theoretical. The application is the hard part. Articulating your brand is no trivial matter and most of us struggle to first identify the current characteristics of our brand then name them. Then it gets even more complex as we look at those characteristics and decide if they make up the personality we want associated with our business.
Alas - there are ways to get there, however! A guided, deep inquiry with specific tools designed to draw out a succinct description of your business' personality can give you a reference point to use when deciding on logos, colors, language, and even product ideas.
In the next few weeks, we'll talk more about some of these tools for branding clarity. Stay tuned.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Your Parenting Brand
I know some of you aren't going to like this - and I'm sorry about that. I want you to like what I write. And yet, I am committed to sharing truths (as I see them) that are useful to you (as I see it.) So, I'm putting it out there:
Your parenting is part of your brand.
Ugh - I know, parenting is already pressure-filled enough these days. It's hard enough to do the right things by your kids when there is so much contrary evidence out there! And if you're even close to as exhausted as I often am, it is impossible to imagine one more thing to add to the "worry about" category of your to-do list. Please know that I both sympathize and empathize. I've got three young babes of my own.
Here's the story that prompted this post:
My three girls, my husband and I were at Gigglybops, a local kid play cafe' in our town. The girls love it there because they can dive into the huge ball pit and climb the climbing wall. I love it because I can get a steamy hot half-caf latte (gotta spread the caffeine out all day long) and do the occasional email in between helping one of them scale the roof of the play house or open the lid to the elephant trunk game (don't ask.)
Our "center-child", A (who is potty training) yells, "I have to go potty. I have to go potty!" Jim runs over saying, "Okay, let's go go go!" and they rush into the bathroom. A few minutes later, I hear a mom who is sitting with two friends chatting, whisper to her daughther, "Someone's in the bathroom - we'll have to wait." A few more minutes go by and Jim and A are still not out of the bathroom. The mom is getting visibly agitated, though the daughter seems to be doing okay. Now, I admit - I would be a bit stressed, too, if I was the mom. There's something visceral that comes alive when I imagine my child in physical discomfort. And I hate that feeling of having to... um, go potty, and not being able to just get it done. So, I identified with the mom as I watched her pace around and glance every 30 seconds at the bathroom door.
Until...
She started making comments to her friends about my child. I'm not even sure what she said, exactly. It was something about her taking so long in the bathroom. There was an eye roll and an irritated sigh. Then there was something really distasteful about bathroom citrus spray.
I'm guessing that the mom didn't realize that it was my child in the bathroom, and that I was behind her at a table, with a really great view of her body language and within earshot of her conversation. My first reaction was pure Mama-fight - Hey, my kid is two years old and potty training! Are you making FUN of her?!
But then I realized, this is one of those moments. This is one of those times where stepping back and observing is the best approach. Notice how I feel, hearing this mom, who is understandably not at her best right now, be mean and catty about my daughter. Imagine how icky she must feel right now to be stooping to such a place. Once I got myself out of hyper-defense mode, I realized something really valuable and annoying.
If I met that woman again in any context, I would not want to engage with her. Even if she is nice to me. Even if I hear that she is a brilliant editor and I want desperately to get published in her magazine. I don't trust her because I now know that she can be catty about a two year old who is practicing going potty. She has bad judgement.
That woman is branding herself. It's not the only thing I noticed about her, of course. I noticed that she ignored her kids while they screamed all over the play area, though I originally decided that she must be exhausted and just needed a place to let them blow off steam. Been there before myself, plenty. I also noticed that she was nicely dressed and seemed to be having a really engaged and interesting conversation with her friends, which I always appreciate since I love engaged conversations with friends. Before the icky thing over my daughter using the bathroom, I was relatively neutral about this woman.
No more. Because the way you are with kids is very indicative of who you are as a person. It's not the sum total and I get it that kids can bring out the glorious best - and the no-one-should-see-this-worst in many of us. I'm just saying that the thing we have to keep in mind is that it all communicates to the world, like it or not, who we are and what we value. Especially in light of the fact that little human souls need compassion and love, not judgment, even when we aren't feeling our best. We have to step up anyway. For them first and foremost - but, frankly, also because it's our personal brand at stake.
Your parenting is part of your brand.
Ugh - I know, parenting is already pressure-filled enough these days. It's hard enough to do the right things by your kids when there is so much contrary evidence out there! And if you're even close to as exhausted as I often am, it is impossible to imagine one more thing to add to the "worry about" category of your to-do list. Please know that I both sympathize and empathize. I've got three young babes of my own.
Here's the story that prompted this post:
My three girls, my husband and I were at Gigglybops, a local kid play cafe' in our town. The girls love it there because they can dive into the huge ball pit and climb the climbing wall. I love it because I can get a steamy hot half-caf latte (gotta spread the caffeine out all day long) and do the occasional email in between helping one of them scale the roof of the play house or open the lid to the elephant trunk game (don't ask.)
Our "center-child", A (who is potty training) yells, "I have to go potty. I have to go potty!" Jim runs over saying, "Okay, let's go go go!" and they rush into the bathroom. A few minutes later, I hear a mom who is sitting with two friends chatting, whisper to her daughther, "Someone's in the bathroom - we'll have to wait." A few more minutes go by and Jim and A are still not out of the bathroom. The mom is getting visibly agitated, though the daughter seems to be doing okay. Now, I admit - I would be a bit stressed, too, if I was the mom. There's something visceral that comes alive when I imagine my child in physical discomfort. And I hate that feeling of having to... um, go potty, and not being able to just get it done. So, I identified with the mom as I watched her pace around and glance every 30 seconds at the bathroom door.
Until...
She started making comments to her friends about my child. I'm not even sure what she said, exactly. It was something about her taking so long in the bathroom. There was an eye roll and an irritated sigh. Then there was something really distasteful about bathroom citrus spray.
I'm guessing that the mom didn't realize that it was my child in the bathroom, and that I was behind her at a table, with a really great view of her body language and within earshot of her conversation. My first reaction was pure Mama-fight - Hey, my kid is two years old and potty training! Are you making FUN of her?!
But then I realized, this is one of those moments. This is one of those times where stepping back and observing is the best approach. Notice how I feel, hearing this mom, who is understandably not at her best right now, be mean and catty about my daughter. Imagine how icky she must feel right now to be stooping to such a place. Once I got myself out of hyper-defense mode, I realized something really valuable and annoying.
If I met that woman again in any context, I would not want to engage with her. Even if she is nice to me. Even if I hear that she is a brilliant editor and I want desperately to get published in her magazine. I don't trust her because I now know that she can be catty about a two year old who is practicing going potty. She has bad judgement.
That woman is branding herself. It's not the only thing I noticed about her, of course. I noticed that she ignored her kids while they screamed all over the play area, though I originally decided that she must be exhausted and just needed a place to let them blow off steam. Been there before myself, plenty. I also noticed that she was nicely dressed and seemed to be having a really engaged and interesting conversation with her friends, which I always appreciate since I love engaged conversations with friends. Before the icky thing over my daughter using the bathroom, I was relatively neutral about this woman.
No more. Because the way you are with kids is very indicative of who you are as a person. It's not the sum total and I get it that kids can bring out the glorious best - and the no-one-should-see-this-worst in many of us. I'm just saying that the thing we have to keep in mind is that it all communicates to the world, like it or not, who we are and what we value. Especially in light of the fact that little human souls need compassion and love, not judgment, even when we aren't feeling our best. We have to step up anyway. For them first and foremost - but, frankly, also because it's our personal brand at stake.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Authentic Eloquence
According to Merriam-Webster Online, the etymology of the word "eloquent" is Latin, meaning "to speak" or "speak out". Their definition of "eloquence" uses words like force and persuasiveness, which make me recoil in a bit of shock and concern. This is not exactly what I mean when I advocate eloquence, and frankly, not what I think most of us think of when we hear the word.
Fortunately, the web provides multitudes of credible word definition sites and this one from Princeton is exactly what I had in mind: It is primarily the power of expressing strong emotions in striking and appropriate language, thereby producing conviction or persuasion. The term is also used for writing in a fluent style.
I love the Princeton definition for a few reasons: it talks about strong emotions, it mentions fluency and it brings up appropriateness.
Eloquence, to me, is about communicating with intention, crafting your message thoughtfully, taking into consideration others involved in the exchange, and expending some highly valuable energy on making it sound fabulous.
That fabulous part is where authenticity joins in. Your fabulous is different than my fabulous. Fabulous is about your passion, your language, your style. To me, the Princeton definition is way more fabulous (and accurate, actually - but language really can be so very personal, can't it?) and it serves my purpose in communicating my business message.
Know your fabulous. Dig deep. This doesn't arrive without considerable inquiry, maybe even a bit of the proverbial navel contemplation (no connection to actual "deep digging" here). Once you have explored sufficiently, be sure to name your style. Articulate your message, craft your mission statement; give yourself a statement that represents you. Use this clearly articulated statement when you craft your messaging - any messaging - and your communication will be infinitely more memorable and powerful. Infinitely.
Fortunately, the web provides multitudes of credible word definition sites and this one from Princeton is exactly what I had in mind: It is primarily the power of expressing strong emotions in striking and appropriate language, thereby producing conviction or persuasion. The term is also used for writing in a fluent style.
I love the Princeton definition for a few reasons: it talks about strong emotions, it mentions fluency and it brings up appropriateness.
Eloquence, to me, is about communicating with intention, crafting your message thoughtfully, taking into consideration others involved in the exchange, and expending some highly valuable energy on making it sound fabulous.
That fabulous part is where authenticity joins in. Your fabulous is different than my fabulous. Fabulous is about your passion, your language, your style. To me, the Princeton definition is way more fabulous (and accurate, actually - but language really can be so very personal, can't it?) and it serves my purpose in communicating my business message.
Know your fabulous. Dig deep. This doesn't arrive without considerable inquiry, maybe even a bit of the proverbial navel contemplation (no connection to actual "deep digging" here). Once you have explored sufficiently, be sure to name your style. Articulate your message, craft your mission statement; give yourself a statement that represents you. Use this clearly articulated statement when you craft your messaging - any messaging - and your communication will be infinitely more memorable and powerful. Infinitely.
Monday, October 6, 2008
You Talk, You Brand
I've been working on a new brochure for my business, Eloquence Communication. The process is shockingly lengthy, with a zillion tiny decisions. What size brochure do I want? Where do I want to place client testimonials? Is it obvious enough, early enough in the brochure experience exactly what service we provide?
Oh, so many little details. And this follows a zillion more details I already attended in the process of doing the re-brand we are implementing (more on that in another post, when I have enough distance from the process that I can talk about it with some enthusiasm).
The brochure was virtually done and I was showing it to some friends to get feedback on the layout. Looking at the client testimonials page which I had titled "Praise", my friend, Cynthia, said, "I would use a different word besides 'Praise' on this page. The way it is now, I can't tell if this is a service you provide or what."
Totally useful feedback. Obviously, further reading would indicate that this is the place in the brochure where we share "testimonials". But no one wants to work that hard to find out what you are trying to say to them in your business brochure. And the thing is, I had already decided against "testimonials" (too dry) and "buzz" (too cliche, too marketing-speak) and I was out of ideas for what to title this section.
I kept trying to decide it wasn't that big of a deal, but the fact is, it does matter. What you say brands you and your business. And while "branding" is the epitome of marketing-speak now, it is a serious fact-of-the-matter that you are branding all the while you are doing anything.
When you are marketing a small business that you own, you are your walking, talking branding machine. The words you choose, the way you listen, the questions you ask - they tell the world what you value, what the experience of working with you will be like. So the words in my brochure, which I plan to distribute far and wide (strategically targeted, of course) should be an indication of the experience of working with my business.
This requires me to be very clear about the experience of working with my business; which I am because this is a huge part of what we do at Eloquence Communication. We help you get very clear who you are in your business so that you can bring Authentic Eloquence to your work. I reminded myself that Eloquence Communication is about authenticity and beauty in language. We believe in finding the most natural word that clearly makes whatever point is sought, while investing a bit of time exploring nuances in language that might be even clearer and more interesting. It is first about authenticity and clarity, but a close second about creativity and innovation in language.
Finally, I decided to label that section "Praise for the Eloquence Experience" (with help from my wordsmith husband) because it was on-brand - and I liked it. It feels right. It sounds good to me. It is clear and useful. And did I say, I liked it?
That's the other thing - be sure you really like the brand you create. Only way to do that is to create it with intention. And get it that every little thing you say and do contributes to your personal brand. For small business owners, your personal brand is often your business brand.
Oh, so many little details. And this follows a zillion more details I already attended in the process of doing the re-brand we are implementing (more on that in another post, when I have enough distance from the process that I can talk about it with some enthusiasm).
The brochure was virtually done and I was showing it to some friends to get feedback on the layout. Looking at the client testimonials page which I had titled "Praise", my friend, Cynthia, said, "I would use a different word besides 'Praise' on this page. The way it is now, I can't tell if this is a service you provide or what."
Totally useful feedback. Obviously, further reading would indicate that this is the place in the brochure where we share "testimonials". But no one wants to work that hard to find out what you are trying to say to them in your business brochure. And the thing is, I had already decided against "testimonials" (too dry) and "buzz" (too cliche, too marketing-speak) and I was out of ideas for what to title this section.
I kept trying to decide it wasn't that big of a deal, but the fact is, it does matter. What you say brands you and your business. And while "branding" is the epitome of marketing-speak now, it is a serious fact-of-the-matter that you are branding all the while you are doing anything.
When you are marketing a small business that you own, you are your walking, talking branding machine. The words you choose, the way you listen, the questions you ask - they tell the world what you value, what the experience of working with you will be like. So the words in my brochure, which I plan to distribute far and wide (strategically targeted, of course) should be an indication of the experience of working with my business.
This requires me to be very clear about the experience of working with my business; which I am because this is a huge part of what we do at Eloquence Communication. We help you get very clear who you are in your business so that you can bring Authentic Eloquence to your work. I reminded myself that Eloquence Communication is about authenticity and beauty in language. We believe in finding the most natural word that clearly makes whatever point is sought, while investing a bit of time exploring nuances in language that might be even clearer and more interesting. It is first about authenticity and clarity, but a close second about creativity and innovation in language.
Finally, I decided to label that section "Praise for the Eloquence Experience" (with help from my wordsmith husband) because it was on-brand - and I liked it. It feels right. It sounds good to me. It is clear and useful. And did I say, I liked it?
That's the other thing - be sure you really like the brand you create. Only way to do that is to create it with intention. And get it that every little thing you say and do contributes to your personal brand. For small business owners, your personal brand is often your business brand.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Mission: Courageous and Compassionate Communication
One of my current favorite business-y type books is The Power of Story by Loehr. So many useful and accurate tidbits in there, but one of my favorites was his conceptualization of purpose. Loehr says we can't really live our best life unless we discover and articulate our real purpose, or Ultimate Mission, as he calls it. He gives this example of an unnamed famous tennis player (FTP) who's gotten caught up in winning and the resultant material goods - fancy cars and shiny medals. After some pushing and prodding from Loehr about what FTP's Ultimate Mission really is, FTP arrives back at Loehr's office with her proclamation: She wants to be sunshine.
From that realization forward, FTP is focused on being sunshine in every interaction. She smiles more, she brings levity and happiness to her interactions. She wants to win, but how she wins and loses is more important. As you might suspect, she wins more as a result. Loehr argues that she wins more because she has a powerful story that inspires her actions. She is totally engaged in her mission and that engagement brings extraordinary performance. Yes - it's a bit of a sing-songy example, but it gets the point across. Know your mission, get focused on that single thing and let that total engagement bring you to a greater level of brilliance (or performance.)
My Ultimate Mission is Courage and Compassion. I like this mission for everything - but I particularly like the way these words work with communication specifically.
While at first glance it might seem this mission is about how I treat others - and I do intend it that way - the fact is, it plays out most often with myself. It's about being courageous enough to be honest with myself about my interactions. It's about recognizing when I have argued a point I no longer believe in, just to win. It's about apologizing when I said something hurtful because I was too enamored with my own epiphany to notice that this was not the right time to share this reflection with a wounded soul. It's about being compassionate with myself when I fail to meet my own expectations. It's about being impeccable with my word (to use the words of Don Miguel Ruiz), first and foremost to myself - and with others. And to save this post from sounding like a horrible self-help book - it's also about putting my ass on the line. (Self-help books rarely use the word ass.) It's about sharing my frailties, asking for feedback and forgiveness. It's also about articulating my brilliance and risking that others will argue against my own impressions of myself.
While I tend to be direct in communication, it's usually in my questions to others. I tend to share little about myself. I want to see what happens if I am significantly more self-expressed. I'm pretty nervous because, well, I want people to think I'm cool. Or at least I want to think people think I'm cool. As a result of my new courageous communication, I'm pretty sure I'll learn that at least some people won't think I'm cool. That part sucks.
It's a good thing I've got the compassion thing to fall back on. I'll be needing that as I soothe myself from any negative feedback. This'll be good for me because frankly, I haven't been compassionate enough with myself or others up to now.
From that realization forward, FTP is focused on being sunshine in every interaction. She smiles more, she brings levity and happiness to her interactions. She wants to win, but how she wins and loses is more important. As you might suspect, she wins more as a result. Loehr argues that she wins more because she has a powerful story that inspires her actions. She is totally engaged in her mission and that engagement brings extraordinary performance. Yes - it's a bit of a sing-songy example, but it gets the point across. Know your mission, get focused on that single thing and let that total engagement bring you to a greater level of brilliance (or performance.)
My Ultimate Mission is Courage and Compassion. I like this mission for everything - but I particularly like the way these words work with communication specifically.
While at first glance it might seem this mission is about how I treat others - and I do intend it that way - the fact is, it plays out most often with myself. It's about being courageous enough to be honest with myself about my interactions. It's about recognizing when I have argued a point I no longer believe in, just to win. It's about apologizing when I said something hurtful because I was too enamored with my own epiphany to notice that this was not the right time to share this reflection with a wounded soul. It's about being compassionate with myself when I fail to meet my own expectations. It's about being impeccable with my word (to use the words of Don Miguel Ruiz), first and foremost to myself - and with others. And to save this post from sounding like a horrible self-help book - it's also about putting my ass on the line. (Self-help books rarely use the word ass.) It's about sharing my frailties, asking for feedback and forgiveness. It's also about articulating my brilliance and risking that others will argue against my own impressions of myself.
While I tend to be direct in communication, it's usually in my questions to others. I tend to share little about myself. I want to see what happens if I am significantly more self-expressed. I'm pretty nervous because, well, I want people to think I'm cool. Or at least I want to think people think I'm cool. As a result of my new courageous communication, I'm pretty sure I'll learn that at least some people won't think I'm cool. That part sucks.
It's a good thing I've got the compassion thing to fall back on. I'll be needing that as I soothe myself from any negative feedback. This'll be good for me because frankly, I haven't been compassionate enough with myself or others up to now.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The Business of Being Happy
My latest article in True North Parenting is on entrepreneurship and family. It's called The Business of Being Happy: Family and the entrepreneurial spirit. In it I explore the good and not-so-great about owning your own business when you are a parent. Check it out - and share your thoughts, ideas, and stories with me. This is one of my favorite topics!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
It's What You Know That Counts
Think about your favorite topic right now. The thing that makes you giddy, excited, totally engaged and immersed. Maybe it's football. Or knitting. Or honey bees. Doesn't matter.
Now, tell me about it. Tell me a story about it. Then tell me how it works. Tell me what I can do with this information to make my life so much better - like yours is for knowing all about this thing.
Then listen to you.
Hear that energy and fire? Hear that clarity and confidence?
That, my friend, is the zone. That's what you want when you are going to talk publicly on any topic. That is how you want to feel; the energy you want. And you can have it. Here's how: get very educated on the topic. Learn everything you can about that which you are going to share publicly. Immerse yourself in the world of your topic and find inspiration. There's a story out there that will pull on your heart or build a fire in your belly. There are statistics and trends that bring this concept to life. Gather it all up.
Then make it yours. Discover in you where this information matters. Does the fact that children's toys may have toxic levels of lead endanger your own children? Does it make you angry that our government hasn't protected your nephew from this atrocity? Are you curious if this explains your own neurological disorder? Or, does your company's software create the cutting edge - take clients where no one has ever gone before? Does this software handle a problem you know has caused tons of angst and frustration in the industry? Because you get to bring peace and productivity to those agonized souls, if it does. So, own that power. And tell them all about the solution you can bring to their lives.
In the case of public speaking, it is what you know that counts.
Research your brains out. Exhaust the evidence. Then choose the most compelling statistics and the most thrilling stories to make your case. Pull them together clearly - with simplicity - and your audience will be absorbed, enthralled, intrigued. You will, too - and that'll make you speak with energy and fire. They'll love it. You'll love it, too.
Now go tear it up.
Now, tell me about it. Tell me a story about it. Then tell me how it works. Tell me what I can do with this information to make my life so much better - like yours is for knowing all about this thing.
Then listen to you.
Hear that energy and fire? Hear that clarity and confidence?
That, my friend, is the zone. That's what you want when you are going to talk publicly on any topic. That is how you want to feel; the energy you want. And you can have it. Here's how: get very educated on the topic. Learn everything you can about that which you are going to share publicly. Immerse yourself in the world of your topic and find inspiration. There's a story out there that will pull on your heart or build a fire in your belly. There are statistics and trends that bring this concept to life. Gather it all up.
Then make it yours. Discover in you where this information matters. Does the fact that children's toys may have toxic levels of lead endanger your own children? Does it make you angry that our government hasn't protected your nephew from this atrocity? Are you curious if this explains your own neurological disorder? Or, does your company's software create the cutting edge - take clients where no one has ever gone before? Does this software handle a problem you know has caused tons of angst and frustration in the industry? Because you get to bring peace and productivity to those agonized souls, if it does. So, own that power. And tell them all about the solution you can bring to their lives.
In the case of public speaking, it is what you know that counts.
Research your brains out. Exhaust the evidence. Then choose the most compelling statistics and the most thrilling stories to make your case. Pull them together clearly - with simplicity - and your audience will be absorbed, enthralled, intrigued. You will, too - and that'll make you speak with energy and fire. They'll love it. You'll love it, too.
Now go tear it up.
Friday, September 26, 2008
The Power of the Pause
My favorite blog is Brazen Careerist, written by Penelope Trunk. The blog's subtitle is "Advice at the Intersection of Work and Life" and most of Penelope's posts can be tied back to work and life. But that's not why I read her blog. I read it because Penelope is irresistably irreverent. She is bold - yes, brazen - and she says exactly what she means, whether it will draw in rancid snares or not. And it does. I read it for those comments, too.
Recently (sort of), she wrote a blog titled, "Why You Have More Trouble With Silence Than With Chatter" that reminded me of the extraordinary power of silence. Not one to partake nearly enough, I am particularly aware when I am being silent. It's like my mind is getting a massage. It's like I've been given a free coffee at my favorite coffee house. It's like vacation in the depths of my flurried brain. It's giddy. Makes me wonder why I don't choose silence more.
The struggle is, silence is hard for many of us. (It's not hard for my husband, for the record.) It's hard for us because acitivty is the cornerstone of our culture. Action is productivity, if we're not looking too closely. Of course, productivity does require action. But meaningful action almost always requires some amount of silence in the process. If we don't check in... if we don't wait and see... if we don't listen to ourselves or others, particularly to our and their silences, there's a good chance we will take wrongful action.
So today, I am embracing the pause. I promise myself some silence, especially in my head. Because I can be silent outwardly relatively easily (okay, maybe not easily - but I can do it with some focused intention or when I am totally exhausted) but silencing the continuous chatter in my mind is incredibly difficult. My top goal today is to find five minutes of total silence. Wish me luck.
Recently (sort of), she wrote a blog titled, "Why You Have More Trouble With Silence Than With Chatter" that reminded me of the extraordinary power of silence. Not one to partake nearly enough, I am particularly aware when I am being silent. It's like my mind is getting a massage. It's like I've been given a free coffee at my favorite coffee house. It's like vacation in the depths of my flurried brain. It's giddy. Makes me wonder why I don't choose silence more.
The struggle is, silence is hard for many of us. (It's not hard for my husband, for the record.) It's hard for us because acitivty is the cornerstone of our culture. Action is productivity, if we're not looking too closely. Of course, productivity does require action. But meaningful action almost always requires some amount of silence in the process. If we don't check in... if we don't wait and see... if we don't listen to ourselves or others, particularly to our and their silences, there's a good chance we will take wrongful action.
So today, I am embracing the pause. I promise myself some silence, especially in my head. Because I can be silent outwardly relatively easily (okay, maybe not easily - but I can do it with some focused intention or when I am totally exhausted) but silencing the continuous chatter in my mind is incredibly difficult. My top goal today is to find five minutes of total silence. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Landing
This blog is something of a landing pad for me. I've always believed that the real impact and benefit in communicating comes in the landing. Knowing that my message has been received, tossed around, contemplated, celebrated... abhorred, adored... whatever, has always been a huge piece of the value.
It's why I don't journal much. Journaling, for me, feels incomplete. It feels partially processed. That's not to say - at all- that journaling is not valuable. I know quite a few people who journal faithfully and find immense pleasure and positive growth from the experience. After all, intrapersonal communication is so important and meaningful in life satisfaction.
And yet, it just doesn't work for me to journal to just myself. This is where you come in, whoever you all turn out to be. This is my invitation into a conversation, hopefully right here on this blog. But if it need be, your end can be done privately and in your own life. Because I do believe in energetic effect. That said, please comment when you are inspired. While the landing is a huge deal to me, there is NOTHING as valuable to me as committed, engaged exchange of ideas.
The mission of this blog is to explore communication in everyday life. The best part about that is that virtually everything communicates! So, who knows what will arrive on this landing pad?! And if something strikes you, send it my way via michelle [at!] eloquencecommunication [*dot] com (all that strange stuff in my email address info is so that crazy spam-seeking pirates don't steal my email address and bombard me with emails). Assuming it inspires me, too, I'll blog about it and we can carry on the conversation here. In any case, thanks for showing up and providing me a landing pad.
It's why I don't journal much. Journaling, for me, feels incomplete. It feels partially processed. That's not to say - at all- that journaling is not valuable. I know quite a few people who journal faithfully and find immense pleasure and positive growth from the experience. After all, intrapersonal communication is so important and meaningful in life satisfaction.
And yet, it just doesn't work for me to journal to just myself. This is where you come in, whoever you all turn out to be. This is my invitation into a conversation, hopefully right here on this blog. But if it need be, your end can be done privately and in your own life. Because I do believe in energetic effect. That said, please comment when you are inspired. While the landing is a huge deal to me, there is NOTHING as valuable to me as committed, engaged exchange of ideas.
The mission of this blog is to explore communication in everyday life. The best part about that is that virtually everything communicates! So, who knows what will arrive on this landing pad?! And if something strikes you, send it my way via michelle [at!] eloquencecommunication [*dot] com (all that strange stuff in my email address info is so that crazy spam-seeking pirates don't steal my email address and bombard me with emails). Assuming it inspires me, too, I'll blog about it and we can carry on the conversation here. In any case, thanks for showing up and providing me a landing pad.
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